I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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