the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
