ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
