I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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