I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize