saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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