who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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