i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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