it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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