I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.