we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Panties = found
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
