I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize