I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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