i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
