i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
