You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
