based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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