Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My vagina is officially offended.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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