the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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