When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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