My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize