I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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