Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
