AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize