maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize