Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
