WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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