My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
