So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
