We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I met the friendliest cop last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
