We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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