I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
