Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
