Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
