ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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