I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
