Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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