no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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