It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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