i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
