Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
