I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
