Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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