Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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