Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
