im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
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Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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