My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My vagina is very pro this idea
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize