they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
