Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
