its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
