More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
