Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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