I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
