The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is glitter all over my balls
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
