never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
