you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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