so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
