it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
