ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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