I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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