Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
