yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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