evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
