Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
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She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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