he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
